GOLDEN GLOBE FASHION

The 71st Golden Globes officially kicked off award season last night in Los Angeles, California. I really enjoy award shows and really enjoy looking at pretty things. So here are the best and the worst of last night's fashion at the 2014 Golden Globes. Excuse me whilst I turn into the actual Joan Rivers.

I'm obsessed with Emma Robert and I'm obsessed with this dress by Lanvin. This is how Julia Roberts should've looked (be prepared for Julia Roberts)

Emma Roberts always impresses me. This is Dior and it is also better than anything you own.

This is Sofia Valgararfjsdh Vergara wearing the BFG's lampshade by Zac Posen

I love Jennifer Lawrence, but this is a very strange dress. I can't hate it though, because she's Jennifer Lawrence

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I make fun of Zooey Deschanel a lot, but I think this is really pretty. It's glamorous, yet so sweet I need a few fillings (She's wearing Oscar de la Renta, if anyone's interested)

I would normally judge anyone for wearing a dress like this, but it's Tina Fey and I kind of like it. (Don't judge me) (She's wearing Carolina Herrera)

This is Julia Roberts wearing Dolce and Gabanna. She looks like a mother who lets her hair down once a year (and her hair is up in a bun).

Sweet mother Mary of God. No. (Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung)

Who invited Taylor Swift to the Golden Globes? Oh, she's pretty isn't she? (She's wearing Carolina Herrera)

2014 POP CULTURE PREDICTIONS

Last year, I predicted the future of pop culture. And unless Mutya-Keisha-Siobhan release an amazing song within this last and remaining month of 2013, then I didn't do very well. But I really enjoyed releasing my inner-Raven Symone and predicting what will happen in the celebrity world. So here we go, here's what I think will happen in 2014:

• Twerking will become illegal in many institutions. People really need to understand that twerking isn't cute, and never will be. The Government will soon realise what it's doing to society and make it against the law to twerk.
• Taylor Swift will shag more boys.
• She will write more songs about the boys she shagged.
• Zac Efron will show the world how amazing he is doing after his drug problem and do an interview with Oprah. 
• Zac Efron will also come out as gay and become my boyfriend.
• Tom Daley will dump his sugar daddy and join Zac and I's relationship.
• There will be another Lindsay Lohan mugshot, and someone will put that mugshot on an actual mug.
• Beyoncé will finally release her much anticipated fifth album, and people will think she is actually Jesus Christ. Amen.
•  Amanda Bynes will have her acting comeback and it will be shit, because she wasn't that good anyway, was she?
• Lady Gaga will cancel her performance on the moon because she realises that she's human and no-one should put themselves in that position unless they have a death wish.
• I will see One Direction and Harry Styles will look at me and say, "Wow, you're beautiful. Want to hang sometime?"
• I will accept his offer.
• We will have sex

So there you go. All of these will happen next year. Are you excited? I am. 

AMA FASHION

On Sunday night, the 2013 AMA's took place in LA and I'm going to be Joan Rivers for a couple hours by judging a celebrity based on the clothes that they wore. Let's get on with it.

Katy Perry is wearing Oscar de la Renta and looks magical. Yes, it does look like a duvet print, but she is making her bed and sleeping in it (shit metaphor, I'm tired).

I really want Emma Roberts to be my friend. I love this Lanvin maxi-dress. In fact, I want it, and I'm a boy.

Lady Gaga wearing Versace (naturally). She look's really pretty, and maintained this in her costume changes throughout the night. I can't get over how much she looks like a young Donatella.

Kelly Osbourne in Rami Al Ali (I think). I don't know if I like this, or completely hate it. The silhouette is weird, and the top half of the dress is really unflattering. But it's cute in a prom-y way.

Ariana Grande in Dolce and Gabbana. Ariana is my favourite popstar of 2013 and this dress is perfect. She looks all woman and a total sexpot. Her stylist finally gets some praise from me. Congratulations, she doesn't look like a fetus.

Miley Cyrus is a simple Vercase Verses pantsuite. I like it. She looks older and more mature than usual, but it's cute. She is serving up executive realness.

Taylor Swift in Julien Macdonald. She looks amazing and I really want her legs. I wish she didn't have that nude triangle by her breasticles though. Would've looked a lot nicer without it.

LET'S REVIEW THE BRIT AWARDS FASHION!!

The Brit Awards were held on Wednesday and to be honest, they were pretty shit. But there were some pretty dresses, and here is my judgement which you probably don't care about.

Here is Taylor Swift wearing one of my favourite outfits of the night. Hot diggigy gurl. You look fierce. Love how it's really classy but slutty at the same time. YOU GO TAY TAY.

Jessie J taking her song 'Do It Like A Dude' to a completely new level in Versace.

Paloma Faith in Dolce and Gabbana. Ugh I fucking love her so much. I adore this dress and I adore her. All hail Paloma Faith. *Tries to think of another way to say I love Paloma Faith.*

She is like a zit on your back that you can't reach, but the dress is okay. Emelie Sande, cannot find who she's wearing anywhere.

My mouth always bursts wide open whenever I see a picture of these boys, and not in shock. GIVE ME UR COCKS. One Direction looking gorgeous on the Brit red carpet.

Jessie Ware wearing Miu Miu. Ugh, she looks so amazing. I love the cropped top A LOT and the detail on the sleeve is a nice touch. So excited to see this bitch at Bestival. She can ditch that bag though.

Alexa Chung in Valentino. Before I start on the outfit, please get smaller shoes. Maybe I would like this if everyone else wasn't so dressed up. But I really don't. Can we all have a collective EW on three? 1.. 2.. 3.. 'EW'. Thank You. Kind Regards.

Lana Del Rey in Chanel. SO CUTE, but way too casual for the Brits. Plus she looks like she just saw her own dog be brutally murdered.

Justin Timberlake in Tom Ford. FUCK ME.

Rita Ora wearing Ulyana Sergeenko. I DO NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS DRESS. One side of my brain is telling me to be sick, but the other part tells me that she looks nice. Maybe she just pulls it off pretty well. Jesus, I need to go to church.

Review: The 55th Annual Grammy Awards 2013.

Last night I got a bit too gay with the BAFTA's and The Grammy's on back to back. I got very excited and tweeted way too much but whatever. I'm going to review the Grammy's now.

Taylor Swift opened the show with this weird mad hatter shit that was really unnecessary. Ever since she's changed from country to pop she's gone all Gaga, which you'd think I'd be fine with. But I'm not. She also said something in a British accent which everyone thinks has to do with the Harry Styles breakup. If that is the case; Bitch please. You do not know who you're messing with.

'Best Pop Solo Performance' went to Adele which is not hard to believe, although 21 was released two fucking years ago, so the Grammy's really need to get out of Adele's vagina. But Adele's acceptance speeches always make me smile. You can take the girl out of Essex, eh? Plus she needs a new stylist because I don't know what she was wearing, but my mother has the exact same bedsheets at home. We'll get into style and fashion later.

Ed Sheeran and Elton John sang 'The A Team' together which would of been nice if they didn't. Ed Sheeran is basically the Cookie Monster with syphilis and heartache. I'm glad he didn't win a Grammy because if he did, he would of thought he's done something right, *waits for white teenage girls to hit me with their Starbucks card*. Fun. also sang which was quite nice because they didn't sing We Are Young. They also won two Grammy's which is again quite nice, because in 2012 the radio really wanted us to like Fun.

Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bently entertained the entire state of Texas, and Texas only, trying to make country music happen (Taylor Swift tried and she gave up). Although I've got to say I am a huge Carrie Underwood fan after last night. Her performance was properly amazing with the cool, projector dress thing going on. Carrie Underwood also won a Grammy for country solo performance. Mumford and Sons sang which was cool, but American's categorise them as rock. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see Mumford as a rock band. When was the last time you saw Bruce Springsteen with a banjo?

The Grammy for urban contemporary album went to Frank Ocean's "Channel Orange." FUCK YEAH. FUCK YOU CHRIS BROWN. It was totes awks (totally awkward for people who don't speak white). Chris Brown and Frank Ocean in the same category. Frank Ocean had a little bandage around his finger. Frank Ocean won. Chris Brown was the only one in the room who didn't stand up. Frank Ocean had to walk past Chris Brown to accept his award. Frank Ocean had to do a speech knowing that everyone was thinking about their brawl. It was intense. Or maybe I'm thinking way too much into it because this paragraph is bigger than any other in this post, and it's only about Frank Ocean winning a Grammy. Maybe I should stop, but not before I say how happy I am Frank won. "channel ORANGE" was, and forever will be my favourite album of 2012 (I'm sorry Taylor Swift :( )

Justin Timberlake performed and it was fucking amazing. Ellen Degeneres and Beyonce introduced him on stage and every gay man in the world was fangirling for this amazing pairing. As Beyonce put it “This performance marks the return of a man born to make music.”And it sure did.

I'm going to stop going into detail now because I'm probably boring you, so in short here are some thing's I liked.

• Rihanna's performance
• The fact 'No Church in the Wild' won best collaboration
• PRINCE PRESENTED AN AWARD!!
• The Bob Marley tribute was nice, but no-one was smoking weed :(
• Album of the Year went to Mumford and Sons
• Frank Ocean's performance
• This photo

Now I'm going to show you a photo of the Best Dressed and the Worst Dressed with some runners up without photo's because that's the way I role.

BEST DRESSED

1. Kelly Rowland (GURL, YOU HAWT)
2. Rihanna (I can see you're nipples, and I like it)
3. Taylor Swift (Gets better every award show)

WORST DRESSED

1. Florence Welch (You look like fucking Reptar)
2. Adele (I'm sorry. I got excited when someone said you were wearing red, then you looked like a lampshade)
3. Carly Rae Jepsen (You looked like a sack of spuds love :( )

MY THING OF THE WEEK.

My thing of this week is the film 'Pitch Perfect'. Apologies to the gays for taking so long to see this film, but now I have, and I'd like to say that it is possibly my favourite comedy, like ever (channeling Taylor Swift there). I'm not a huge Glee fan, in fact I haven't watched it properly since series two, but Pitch Perfect was the perfect mix of Mean Girls and Glee (in the best possible way), focusing on the characters traits than the plot, and sweet Jesus they have the Empress of comedy characters in this film. Two words. Fat, Amy. She is my new spiritual animal.

Highlights of the film include the burrito scene and anything that comes out of Fat Amy's mouth.

Here is the trailer. Go and check it out as I fear it won't be in the cinema for much longer.