2014 POP CULTURE PREDICTIONS

Last year, I predicted the future of pop culture. And unless Mutya-Keisha-Siobhan release an amazing song within this last and remaining month of 2013, then I didn't do very well. But I really enjoyed releasing my inner-Raven Symone and predicting what will happen in the celebrity world. So here we go, here's what I think will happen in 2014:

• Twerking will become illegal in many institutions. People really need to understand that twerking isn't cute, and never will be. The Government will soon realise what it's doing to society and make it against the law to twerk.
• Taylor Swift will shag more boys.
• She will write more songs about the boys she shagged.
• Zac Efron will show the world how amazing he is doing after his drug problem and do an interview with Oprah. 
• Zac Efron will also come out as gay and become my boyfriend.
• Tom Daley will dump his sugar daddy and join Zac and I's relationship.
• There will be another Lindsay Lohan mugshot, and someone will put that mugshot on an actual mug.
• Beyoncé will finally release her much anticipated fifth album, and people will think she is actually Jesus Christ. Amen.
•  Amanda Bynes will have her acting comeback and it will be shit, because she wasn't that good anyway, was she?
• Lady Gaga will cancel her performance on the moon because she realises that she's human and no-one should put themselves in that position unless they have a death wish.
• I will see One Direction and Harry Styles will look at me and say, "Wow, you're beautiful. Want to hang sometime?"
• I will accept his offer.
• We will have sex

So there you go. All of these will happen next year. Are you excited? I am. 

FASHION REVIEW: BUSTED

I really like talking about celebrity fashion, and by that I mean judging the fuck out of clothes worn by people I will never meet. So I think I'm going to start and do this monthly with a different theme each time. You know, for the shits n' gigs. At the begining of this week, Lindsay Lohan went to court and got sent to rehab, so naturally this months theme is THE LAW! Here are some celebrities going to court and some comments on their clothes. To make this a more riveting experience, here's a playlist of some law/drug/government themed songs. Such fun.

Linsday Lohan turning up to court on Monday. I've never seen so many layers on this bitch before. Her poor vagina must be confused.

It looks like Tulisa either has a small penis, or just did a fanny fart. Either way she looks kinda pretty. Shit hair though.

Why isn't Naomi Campbell a Dame yet? FIERCE.

Oh no Cheryl. Carrie Bradshaw would not approve, and neither would the 2013 Cheryl Cole.

Every time I see a picture of either one of them, I want them to jump off something very high. She looks like a hill-billy Oompa Loompa on stilts and he looks Constipated. (Katie Price and Peter Andre)

HAVE A FUCKING BURGER! (Paris Hilton)

It's only right we finish where we started. Lindsay Lohan channeling her inner Marilyn. Very clASSy.