Merry Christmas blogger buddies!

Sorry I haven't been updating this thing as much as I said I would over the past few weeks. It is the festive season after all. So now that Christmas is practically over (Only 2 more hours left of Jesus being exactly one year older than he was last year), I should become more engaged in writing and keeping the internet updated on my not so interesting life.

Well Christmas was lovely as per usual. Waking up relatively early to open presents with the sister, bacon sandwiches for breakfast (with fancy Tesco finest bread this year, thank you very much), playing with my favourite present (my kindle) for at least 2 hours before sitting down for a marvelous three course festive fiasco with awful jokes and pigs wrapped in more pigs, which I think is an odd yet delicious concept. Who ever thought of wrapping sausage in bacon is the love child of Einstein and Hitler. Imagine if the sausage was the mother piggy and the bacon was the baby piggy. I feel as though I'm going into this way too much so I'm going to stop talking about pigs in blankets and move onto the touchy topic of pathetic cracker jokes. Today I think I possibly read the worst excuse of a joke to ejaculate out of a cracker. On that patronising little piece of paper it read (and I kid you not):

Q: Why was Santa scared to leave a little girls house after delivering his gifts?
A: Because it was raining.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but that joke it's not funny in any fucking way. The person who wrote the joke should be fired immediately. I guess that's what you get for purchasing the lower brand Christmas crackers.

Every Christmas I remember how blessed I am. Not that I'm some person who takes everything for granted and should be named and shamed on MTV's 'My Super Sweet Sixteen' (best theme song ever by the way). But Not only did I had a lovely day with people who love me, but they gave me presents. Including a toastie maker, expensive smelly things and a kindle fire (which I'm currently using to write this blog post). Because I felt so warm inside I decided to give some money to the charity Barnado's which is a non-profit organisation that helps children in homes, children with disabilities, children getting bullied, ect. So I'm leaving you with an end message to give if you can and have a lovely Christmas because I'm needed for a late night family game of monopoly.

Merry Christmas you filthy animal.

It feels weird being home.

I was looking forward to coming home for a few days. Having proper meals, sleeping in a nostalgic bed, being with my family, I just thought I would be loving every minute of it. Don't get me wrong I love being home, but I just wanna be drunk rolling out of Proud in Camden. Maybe it's because not everyone has gone home from university or I'm home for no particular reason but it just feels weird.

Although I'm basing all this on one night here and I haven't really don't much today. ANYWAY, I'm going now to watch The Valleys because I want my brain cells to decay. I'll leave you with this photo of Tom Daley.

I'm a Stupid Hoe.

I don't know how to feel. I went to Cardiff to see Nicki Minaj and did two things I regret. Both revolve around love, or the lack of it, and both make me feel like I want to vomit. Mixed emotions without ice cream is very difficult and wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I'm back home in Wales which I think is much needed. Going to clear my mind with my family, friends and wine. Lots of it.

Nicki Minaj was better than expected. In fact I could call myself a Barb if I so feel like it. No? Okay. Highlights included Starships, Beez in the Trap, Pound the Alarm and Monster. I went ape-shit when Monster came on because one is a motherfucking monster. Enough about Nicki Minaj because I still can't believe I went let alone enjoyed every moment of it. Oh, also I was very drunk. Such fun.

After a long, long, LONG night with a 3:30am end, me and my cousin went to sleep with an alarm set for 7. Giving us a whole 3 and a half hours sleep. WOW. SO MUCH SLEEP. HAHAHAHA. *evil face*. This was then followed by a two hour train journey and a 40 minute tube journey. *repeats laughter and evil face*. I was tired and hungover. But the best way to cure a hangover is to go straight back out and do it all again. So we did minus a superstar rapper plus free Dominos Pizza. Yep, the club gave out free Dominos and everything was perfect. Minus the sleep deprivation. But one of my favourite quotes is "No-one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep."

I'm now sitting in my living room in Llanelli ready to sleep for my entire visit. Good night. God Bless.

-Jack

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT. Although is that correct? 'Happy bonfire night'? Is that a saying?

ANYWAY...

Tonight I went to Primrose Hill in Regents Park to look over the London skyline and it was so cute. Although we left after fifteen minutes because it was so fucking cold. I absolutely adore winter. The snow, the ice-skating, the Starbucks dates, etc. It's my favourite season, but I am the coldest person in the whole world. I need at least 5 layers on before I feel comfortable let alone warm. We then went to KFC (naturally) and I had a chicken popcorn snack box and these spicy chicken things that ended up not being that spicy. It was still beautiful.

Hopefully NONE of my family members have found this blog, and if any of you are reading, please stop or you don't love me and I will die (really I will, its the Jack's family reading his blog curse) (I will die).

I had a one night stand last night which is completely unlike me. It was with this boy I have never met properly but we'd been talking on Facebook. Before someone complains about how dangerous this is. He lives in the same Halls as me and we had met briefly on freshers week. Now I feel awkward because we haven't talked since. He wasn't the best mind you, but what if I wasn't good? My reputation is on the line here. I guess we both just had needs that needed sorting out and holes that needed filling (pun not intended, but rather good) (feel as if I should delete that sentence) (not going to). So maybe I'm just thinking about it too much., or too little. AH HELP. Need therapy.

-Jack