Sorry I haven't been updating this thing as much as I said I would over the past few weeks. It is the festive season after all. So now that Christmas is practically over (Only 2 more hours left of Jesus being exactly one year older than he was last year), I should become more engaged in writing and keeping the internet updated on my not so interesting life.
Well Christmas was lovely as per usual. Waking up relatively early to open presents with the sister, bacon sandwiches for breakfast (with fancy Tesco finest bread this year, thank you very much), playing with my favourite present (my kindle) for at least 2 hours before sitting down for a marvelous three course festive fiasco with awful jokes and pigs wrapped in more pigs, which I think is an odd yet delicious concept. Who ever thought of wrapping sausage in bacon is the love child of Einstein and Hitler. Imagine if the sausage was the mother piggy and the bacon was the baby piggy. I feel as though I'm going into this way too much so I'm going to stop talking about pigs in blankets and move onto the touchy topic of pathetic cracker jokes. Today I think I possibly read the worst excuse of a joke to ejaculate out of a cracker. On that patronising little piece of paper it read (and I kid you not):
Q: Why was Santa scared to leave a little girls house after delivering his gifts?
A: Because it was raining.
Now correct me if I'm wrong but that joke it's not funny in any fucking way. The person who wrote the joke should be fired immediately. I guess that's what you get for purchasing the lower brand Christmas crackers.
Every Christmas I remember how blessed I am. Not that I'm some person who takes everything for granted and should be named and shamed on MTV's 'My Super Sweet Sixteen' (best theme song ever by the way). But Not only did I had a lovely day with people who love me, but they gave me presents. Including a toastie maker, expensive smelly things and a kindle fire (which I'm currently using to write this blog post). Because I felt so warm inside I decided to give some money to the charity Barnado's which is a non-profit organisation that helps children in homes, children with disabilities, children getting bullied, ect. So I'm leaving you with an end message to give if you can and have a lovely Christmas because I'm needed for a late night family game of monopoly.
Merry Christmas you filthy animal.
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