I need a stiff drink and a stiff something else.

HELLO! Happy Thursday to you. I decided not to go out tonight and now, have this huge feeling of regret in the pit of my stomach. I haven't had a double vodka and red bull in about 6 days and this to me, is unacceptable to the highest degree. Also I'm feeling unloved. I'm sick and tired of being single and I really want to take part in the American activity of dating because, as a British citizen I feel like we don't really partake in dating, and if we do call it a date it tends to make things awkward. I guess we'd call it 'outings', am I right? So I want an awkward free date with someone that gives me an instaboner (that's instant boner to those who don't know, it's not an app that makes your dick sepia).  My perfect date would be a few drinks (obviously) , sharing a shit full amount of carbohydrates and a good fuck.

Here is a brief characterisation of my ideal man. I like light brown hair and blue eyes on other men *orgasm*. I like men with the same build as me (unless you are Tom Daley, then you can sit on my face), you have to either be a little taller or the same height as me. I love a good sense of humour and if you are lucky enough to be my boyfriend (pushing it), then I'll enjoy seasonal kiki's with you and dick banana splits. You have to like One Direction and support them through every decision they make. Also if I meet any of the following people, you need to understand that I am aloud to leave you if they are in love with me: Zayn Malik, Zac Efron, Tom Daley, Darren Criss, David Beckham or River Viiperi. Please note that this list does change sometimes (everyday). It would be nice if we had similar music tastes. Finally, and this is important, you cannot be clingy. This is the worst personality trait to me. I like time to myself and I think it's important to spend time on your own, as it is with people you love.

It's time for my 'THING OF THE WEEK' and for those of you who are actually feeling alone. This week it's a beautiful video made by a filmmaker called Andrea Dorfman. It's about being lonely and how to cope with it if you are. Whenever I do feel lonely (which is rare because I surround myself with some lovely people) I think of this video and all is good in the world.

Thank God for Fridays and Vodka.

IT'S FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
Happy Friday everybody. Going to be a stereotypical Friday-lover and go to TGI Fridays and make love to some sweet food. I honestly can't wait to be with good food and good people. I can't remember the last time I went out in London (I actually can, it was last Thursday, but a week without vodka is like a week without company), so going to a bar for some drinks afterwards is a must.

Since the last time we chatted I've only gone and got work experience at Attitude magazine (could I get any gayer? The answer is no), so I'm very excited and going to celebrate by having a cocktail with my meal tonight. A REAL MAGAZINE GUYS! A REAL GAY MAGAZINE. If there is a God, I'd like to thank you with all my heart, soul and jizz.

Peace out
-Jack

Back to London Town

Hello everyone, are you all alright since our last encounter? Well it's my last night in my hometown until Christmas as tomorrow I'm going back to London. Visiting home has been really nice. Weird, but nice. Seeing my family and friends has been brilliant, but I'm excited to be going back to London for the rest of reading week. I MUST DO MY WORK THOUGH. I honestly haven't done anything educational for the past 4 days, unless you count cutting your nails and seeing James Bond as an educational experience.

James Bond BTW (by the way, if you will) was fantastic! Definitely a contender for one of the best Bond films ever. It was nice to see the inclusion of the British Isles as they seem to have gone missing from the past few films. Yes, so James Bond is amazing and I highly reccomend you go and see it, if you haven't already that is (I'm a sucker for a metrosexual men).

Tomorrow I'm going back to work and I really don't want to because I'm not loving it as much as my old store (I work in a supermarket if you didn't know already). It's just that they ask me to do overtime ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Don't get me wrong, the concept of overtime when you're a poor student is actually, properly amazing. But if I say no, the team leaders look at you like you're a lump of shit. I can't wait to go back to my old store during Christmas time to be reminded how a supermarket should be run (I know it's sad, but it really pisses me off).

Before I go I've decided to do a new segment on this blog and it's called... (wait for it).... (I feel like Dermot O'Leary)... 'MY THING OF THE WEEK' (original I know). And this weeks 'thing of the week' is the one and only MADEON! He's this amazing young DJ from France who's been played a lot on Radio One and will be one of the producers of Lady Gaga's next album 'ARTPOP' (The depressing thing is he's the same age as me and all I have is a blog). Check him out belowwwww! Goodbye blog chums, until next time:-)

It feels weird being home.

I was looking forward to coming home for a few days. Having proper meals, sleeping in a nostalgic bed, being with my family, I just thought I would be loving every minute of it. Don't get me wrong I love being home, but I just wanna be drunk rolling out of Proud in Camden. Maybe it's because not everyone has gone home from university or I'm home for no particular reason but it just feels weird.

Although I'm basing all this on one night here and I haven't really don't much today. ANYWAY, I'm going now to watch The Valleys because I want my brain cells to decay. I'll leave you with this photo of Tom Daley.

I'm a Stupid Hoe.

I don't know how to feel. I went to Cardiff to see Nicki Minaj and did two things I regret. Both revolve around love, or the lack of it, and both make me feel like I want to vomit. Mixed emotions without ice cream is very difficult and wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I'm back home in Wales which I think is much needed. Going to clear my mind with my family, friends and wine. Lots of it.

Nicki Minaj was better than expected. In fact I could call myself a Barb if I so feel like it. No? Okay. Highlights included Starships, Beez in the Trap, Pound the Alarm and Monster. I went ape-shit when Monster came on because one is a motherfucking monster. Enough about Nicki Minaj because I still can't believe I went let alone enjoyed every moment of it. Oh, also I was very drunk. Such fun.

After a long, long, LONG night with a 3:30am end, me and my cousin went to sleep with an alarm set for 7. Giving us a whole 3 and a half hours sleep. WOW. SO MUCH SLEEP. HAHAHAHA. *evil face*. This was then followed by a two hour train journey and a 40 minute tube journey. *repeats laughter and evil face*. I was tired and hungover. But the best way to cure a hangover is to go straight back out and do it all again. So we did minus a superstar rapper plus free Dominos Pizza. Yep, the club gave out free Dominos and everything was perfect. Minus the sleep deprivation. But one of my favourite quotes is "No-one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep."

I'm now sitting in my living room in Llanelli ready to sleep for my entire visit. Good night. God Bless.

-Jack

On the train to Cardiff...

On my way to Cardiff to see Nicki Minaj. I'm not the biggest Nicki fan but I'm so excited for tonight. Can't wait to show the capital my rapping skills. The only problem is that I have a two hour train ride with no food and I'm exceptionally hungry. I have no cash either so I really hope the trolly dolly accepts card.

Just had a row for using my phone because I'm in the quiet carriage. My bad. Anyway I'm going to love you and leave you as I have just departed Paddington. I need my earphones an my book. See you later!

-Jack

Four more years...

I'm over the moon that Obama has won another term as president. Being British, it doesn't really effect me either way. Saying that I can't stand Romney, and it would worry me knowing that he would be the most powerful man in the world. Bringing religion into politics is as stupid as asking Honey Boo Boo to name all the states of America.

As a gay man, Barack certainly has helped out my community, supporting gay marriage with many states legalising it this year. But now what he needs to do is legalise it all over the US and realise that marriage equality is not a state issue. It is a basic, human right. He needs to do things faster and more efficient, to earn the respect off people who voted for that psychotic Republican.

I have only one dream in my life, and it's not to be a journalist or have a lot of money. It's to marry the person I love and have children. It's time to move forward.

I love you Barack.

-Jack

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT. Although is that correct? 'Happy bonfire night'? Is that a saying?

ANYWAY...

Tonight I went to Primrose Hill in Regents Park to look over the London skyline and it was so cute. Although we left after fifteen minutes because it was so fucking cold. I absolutely adore winter. The snow, the ice-skating, the Starbucks dates, etc. It's my favourite season, but I am the coldest person in the whole world. I need at least 5 layers on before I feel comfortable let alone warm. We then went to KFC (naturally) and I had a chicken popcorn snack box and these spicy chicken things that ended up not being that spicy. It was still beautiful.

Hopefully NONE of my family members have found this blog, and if any of you are reading, please stop or you don't love me and I will die (really I will, its the Jack's family reading his blog curse) (I will die).

I had a one night stand last night which is completely unlike me. It was with this boy I have never met properly but we'd been talking on Facebook. Before someone complains about how dangerous this is. He lives in the same Halls as me and we had met briefly on freshers week. Now I feel awkward because we haven't talked since. He wasn't the best mind you, but what if I wasn't good? My reputation is on the line here. I guess we both just had needs that needed sorting out and holes that needed filling (pun not intended, but rather good) (feel as if I should delete that sentence) (not going to). So maybe I'm just thinking about it too much., or too little. AH HELP. Need therapy.

-Jack

God Bless the Mess...

As a British citizen people might think my opinion is pointless but I've always been fond of Obama and think he's doing a terrific job. It really worries me that Mitt Romney has a chance of winning the election. In fact I find it absolutely crazy that someone so hateful could be one of the most powerful men in the world this Tuesday.

I strongly believe that before you can touch the economy, you have to sort out the social issues of a country, like equality for everyone,women's rights, LGBT rights, etc. and Obama did magnificently with these. Once the social issues are sorted I'm sure he would also do a great job with the economy.

Not to mention that Romney and Murdoch are strict, practicing Christians, and are bringing their beliefs into their campaign. America is a multicultural and multi-faith country and they need a president who can represent everyone. Having a president that thinks that pregnancy through rape is what God intended frightens the living day light out of me. It's disgusting and Romney will turn 2012 America into 1960's America all over again. Romney is the Cher of the election. He has the chance to turn back time so he will.

There's a lot at stake in this election and I know my blog only receives about 20 views a day from America but share this with all your friends. Make sure they all vote, and for the right person (Obama FYI) because America is a powerful country that has an effect on the rest of the world.

Shall we catch up?

Channeling the inner housewife in myself tonight, by doing the ironing whilst watching the TV. I feel like I should have curlers in my hair and smoking a cigarette. Anyway, lets catch up. So Halloween resulted in a pool of sick and a £10 taxi ride home. Egg was surprisingly good and nothing in the club was related to the name, which confused me. Because it is an odd name for a club, right? Not just me? As you all know I dressed up as a zombie Peter Pan and had a few looks on the Tube which I'm thinking is a good thing? No? Okay. I got ready in a record breaking fifteen minutes, but this worked to my advantage because Halloween is the only night you can look completely shit and not only get away with it, but get praised for it.

Moving on, I'm very excited about the next few weeks. This Wednesday I'm going to Cardiff to catch up with my cousin and see Nicki Minaj, hopefully followed by a nice night out in Cardiff. Then on the Thursday my cousin is coming up to London for a night out and some lovely sightseeing. THEN (I know, I'm sorry) I'm going back to Wales for a couple of days to see the family and see the friends and see the sheep.

Now that we have catched up I can go to bed feeling happy.

Goodnight, God bless.