Our three day British summer has come and gone, the remains of my summer glow is slowly fading and I feel fucking fantastic. So my tan may have faded a little, but my post-British summer positive mental attitude is very much still intact. Funnily enough, the glow on my face made me confident which made me more attractive to boys. What are the chances? Who'd have known that all I needed was a bit of self-confidence and a smile to get more boys gathered around me like blind lesbians at the fish mongers. I am now (relatively) the 'Catch of the Day'.
Even though I am still nineteen years old, I have decided to rediscover my freshers youth. I had a bit of a dry spell when it came to going out clubbing as I would have much rathered staying in my little halls of residence room with a bottle of red wine and Netflix. I always got fucked up whenever I went out which would ruin my sleeping pattern until the next time I went out, which would repeat the process. So, I went a bit anti-student and had a little party detox, bar a couple of trips to G-A-Y, because no-one can say no to £1.70 a drink.
But I am still a teenager for one more year so I decided to act like it. When the sun came out, the alcohol cravings began. I got all my friends together and decided to get absolutely fucked. Living in London, I have no fucking idea what to do when a spontaneous alcoholic outing occurs. I find myself googling things like 'best student nights out in London' or 'the best gay nightclubs in London' and go from there. Even though this occasionally works sometimes, we usually end up in a familiar place where we always go. But this night was different.
"You know it's a straight club, right?" my friend asked. "Perfect," I replied. During this point in my life (a whole three weeks ago), I was going through this awkward relationship with someone and didn't know what to do. I wanted to go out and dance, not find a fuck, considering for the past couple of months before hand, I had retired my dancing shoes.
Drinking my bottle of Blossom Hill Pinot grigio rosé in my new black skinny jeans on the tube, I had never felt more excited/clASSy to get off my face. I had a summer glow and a new outfit causing me to walk into this night club like Roxxxy Andrews walking into the work space on RuPaul's Drag Race series five. I felt good, I was smiling and I wasn't even thinking about the end of night McDonald's, which is usually always on my mind.
Even though I promised myself to stay away from guys, the moment I walked into this club I noticed the cutest boy, around my age ordering a drink. About four hours later he was taking me home on the night bus. This usually never happens to me, and if it does, I usually blame it on the other person feeling sorry for my friends because I used to get too drunk. We didn't have sex, but we could of. In fact, with this relationship I'm currently in going a bit tits up, now I wish I did have a joint party in our pants.
The moral to this overly-long blog post is to have fun, feel confident and smile whenever jizz is involved. Being cute is a way of being (I'm being sarcastic, do whatever you want).
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Sunday, 2 June 2013
It's Not Me, It's Ru
It took me a very long time and a very stressful essay crisis to get into RuPaul's Drag Race. After seeing a whole lot of gays go crazy on tumblr and a lot of essay procrastination to do, I decided to dedicate a whole three days to television gold. A couple weeks later, and I've seen every single episode to every single series. I can't even imagine a world without a completely unnecessary but absolutely compulsory 'lip-synch for your life'. Questioning pronouns has never been a bigger part of my life and I absolutely love it.
I never understood the fascination with Drag Queens or why anyone would pay good money to see some man make some dick jokes, whilst miming to Britney Spears dressed as a woman. But now I am one of those people who recently bought a ticket for 'The Real Lady Boys of Bangkok' and cannot fucking wait to go. Of course, I cannot assume that every single gay person will love Drag Race, I'm sure a lot of them despise the show, but there is no denying that it has a huge impact on popular and gay culture. The Queens that enter end up preforming all over the world in gay clubs, pride parades and even festivals or big events. Even straight people love the show because it's probably the most competitive and entertaining reality television show out at the moment. All these Queens are desperate to win a life supply of make-up, a holiday and a hundred thousand dollars (who wouldn't?).
Even though everyone is competitive, no-one takes it seriously. Not even Ru-Paul. It's honestly a bigger joke than Amanda Bynes' acting comeback. THEY LIP-SYNCH FOR THEIR LIVES GODDAMMIT. It's an obvious parody of Project Runway or Next Top Model, but in the best possible way. All the queens make their own clothes, they do their own make up, their hair always looks flawless. When you're watching it, it just feels like a big hug from Christopher Biggins. The endless puns, the one-liners, the catchphrases and the amazing bitchiness are the bait that will eventually reel you in. You will end up laying there with the fishy Queens at the fish market, in the metaphorical supermarket of RuPaul. Also, The false-sense of drama in this show is just so... lovely.
It's the only reality TV show in the world not to give a fuck which makes us give a fuck. The winner may win a cash sum of $100,000, but even the winner will go back to performing in gay clubs after the show and everyone knows that. Yes, they will probably play the best gay night clubs in the world, but a night club is a night club. The show doesn't care if you don't know what 'ki-ki' or 'shade' means, because it's a show for gay people and gay lovers. The show is on the only US gay network 'Logo', and RuPaul is probably the only straight crossover hit on that network because it's pretty much amazing and there's this overwhelming hype. I can confirm that the hype, is infact, real. If you think I'm an idiot for loving this show, or have not seen one episode, clip or even GIF. I have two words for you.
I never understood the fascination with Drag Queens or why anyone would pay good money to see some man make some dick jokes, whilst miming to Britney Spears dressed as a woman. But now I am one of those people who recently bought a ticket for 'The Real Lady Boys of Bangkok' and cannot fucking wait to go. Of course, I cannot assume that every single gay person will love Drag Race, I'm sure a lot of them despise the show, but there is no denying that it has a huge impact on popular and gay culture. The Queens that enter end up preforming all over the world in gay clubs, pride parades and even festivals or big events. Even straight people love the show because it's probably the most competitive and entertaining reality television show out at the moment. All these Queens are desperate to win a life supply of make-up, a holiday and a hundred thousand dollars (who wouldn't?).
Even though everyone is competitive, no-one takes it seriously. Not even Ru-Paul. It's honestly a bigger joke than Amanda Bynes' acting comeback. THEY LIP-SYNCH FOR THEIR LIVES GODDAMMIT. It's an obvious parody of Project Runway or Next Top Model, but in the best possible way. All the queens make their own clothes, they do their own make up, their hair always looks flawless. When you're watching it, it just feels like a big hug from Christopher Biggins. The endless puns, the one-liners, the catchphrases and the amazing bitchiness are the bait that will eventually reel you in. You will end up laying there with the fishy Queens at the fish market, in the metaphorical supermarket of RuPaul. Also, The false-sense of drama in this show is just so... lovely.
It's the only reality TV show in the world not to give a fuck which makes us give a fuck. The winner may win a cash sum of $100,000, but even the winner will go back to performing in gay clubs after the show and everyone knows that. Yes, they will probably play the best gay night clubs in the world, but a night club is a night club. The show doesn't care if you don't know what 'ki-ki' or 'shade' means, because it's a show for gay people and gay lovers. The show is on the only US gay network 'Logo', and RuPaul is probably the only straight crossover hit on that network because it's pretty much amazing and there's this overwhelming hype. I can confirm that the hype, is infact, real. If you think I'm an idiot for loving this show, or have not seen one episode, clip or even GIF. I have two words for you.
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